Grace,
When you are reading this much later in life, please know that Mommy did not mean for you to get hit in the head by a basketball at your very first Memorial Day cookout... at the tender age of 13 weeks. It came out of nowhere and the little girl who made the shot felt very, very bad. We took you to the ER and Mommy and Daddy spent the next several hours thinking of how inadequate we were in preventing this from happening. However, we were overjoyed when the ER doc pronounced you perfect in every way!
You were such a trooper. You cried for just a couple of minutes then started laughing and smiling your infectious, wonderful smile. I think it was one of my favorite smiles so far because it told me that you would be okay. I'm sure this will be just one of many bumps and bruises along the way but I'll never stop trying to prevent them and I'll never stop being there to wipe your tears away when they do. This is what mommys do. It is in the definition of mommyhood. Your pain is my pain. When you cry, I feel it in my heart and soul... even when it's just because you didn't get your way!
Sometimes it is the words of others who capture moments like this...
such as this quote from Elizabeth Stone- “Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”
Or the advice from a friend and colleague:
1. They are stronger and tougher than they look.
2. They will always seem vulnerable to you.
3. Keep a good friend nearby to remind you how strong, healthy, happy and well-adjusted they are. -Marisol G.
I am so lucky to have a wonderful husband, family and friends around me to remind me that you are strong, healthy and happy... and hopefully always will be.
And since I cannot put you in a glass bubble or shield you from the dangers of the world, I think I'll turn to teaching you the tools you will need to survive, thrive and love despite the bumps and bruises along the way.
Love,
Mom
We will never forget the first trip to the ER. I've never felt as helpless as I did when I saw that ball coming down; it seemed to fall in slow motion and my body felt tile it was stuck in thick molasses. I couldn't deflect that ball away and it made me feel horrible...like I couldn't protect my defenseless daughter.
ReplyDeleteThe thing that scares me the most is that in a few years, that ball will seem so minor compared to the other things and people in life that I won't be right there to protect you from.
Like Mom said, all we can do is give you the tools to make good choices and do good things. And just like Mommy, I'll be right there to wipe away your tears and put a band-aid on your skinned knees... As long as I breathe.
Love,
Dad
Carrie, As I read you blogs, I cry tears of joy. No matter what age your children are, your heart will always walk outside your body. Carrie, to this day I worry about all of you everyday, it never goes away. Example- I had everyone up late trying to find Colleen and she is grown women- very cable of taking care of herself. I cannot tell you the panic inside if you think your child might be in harms way of any kind. A mother's pain runs deep if your child is hurt or sad or in pain. The mother's pain is just as great because you want to fix everything for them. My greatest gift in the whole world is my four children. I am so blessed to have four wonderful children. I know I was a very young mother and made many mistakes but love you all dearly. It all about sacrifice and your child coming first no matter what. I would, without a thought, go to any length protecting any one of you. What makes me go on in life everyday is the gift of my children. Carol- one day will be a great mother as well she will probably have lots of children, knowing her. You all are so good to me. Colleen- will soon know the joy when you Alex arrives and is the greatest gift of your life. I want you all to know when it is time for me to go, I want to be remembered as a mother whose life was completely fulfilled by her children- her greatest gift. Everyday, I try to think of how I can help or make life easier for my children. I am so very proud of all of you. You all have very big hearts and are good to one another, always willing to help your brother or sisters. I cannot tell you how good it makes me feel knowing if something ever happened to me, I know all of you will band together and make sure you all will take care of one another. I have the very best children in the whole wide world. LOVE MOM
ReplyDelete(aka Grammy Pam)