This is the second time I've written a blog about coming to the end of my maternity leave. It will almost definitely be the last on this subject for me. The first time, the blog was consumed with how hard it was for me and how much I was sure to cry. I was emotionally overwhelmed by the mere thought of saying goodbye to my beautiful Grace to return work. Reading it, you would have thought I was the very first person this ever happened to...
This time, I am emotional but I am grateful and that is what I choose to focus on. What I am most grateful for, aside from Caroline's entry into the world (see my "Rainbow baby" blog), is the amazing bond that has developed between sisters.
At least once a week, I ask Grace, "How does it feel to be adored?" She usually just smiles and gives her sister another awkward hug and wet kiss. In all seriousness, Caroline adores Grace. Grace can make her laugh out loud. Grace can comfort her when she cries. Caroline absolutely lights up when Grace says her name. She also cringes a bit when Grace gets a little to close, fifteen times in a row.
I cannot wait to watch them grow as individuals and as sisters. I know there will be happy moments and ugly moments but all the moments will be ours... in a family that is now complete.
I am so incredibly blessed to have two sisters and a brother. I have different but special relationships with each of them. I could never imagine my life without them. They are so much a part of my heart and soul. I know it will be that way for Grace and Caroline.
So, yes, I don't want to go back to work... even though I do love my job. I have to go back to work. And I still firmly believe leave should be paid and longer. But I take comfort going back, in knowing that my girls will have each other and they will be taken care of by special people, when I'm not there.
Tears and gratitude tonight.
And to all the moms and dads who have had to walk this path, I feel your pain. I know your heart and mind will forever be in two places at once.
